Me. At least after what I've been through.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
