two words: eviction party
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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