I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
