he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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