I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
