that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
