your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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