You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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