I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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