Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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