Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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