I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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