wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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