I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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