it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
