Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it hurts more in the daytime
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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