I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
