actually, I'm a sock model
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
FUCK WHALES
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