Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
