You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just gift wrapped bread.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize