i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
