i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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