Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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