I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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