Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
