ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
