It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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