so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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