So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
