If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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