So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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