i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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