I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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