I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
