So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
