he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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