he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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