Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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