Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
