i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
