He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How drunk are you?
Completed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize