Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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