Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
