i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
