I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
