I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize