Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
