if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
