either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
