I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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