I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize