I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
