No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
