hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I will be naked everywhere
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
