I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
