eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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