I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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