Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize