why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You are the jesus of drinking
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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