Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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