he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
